Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
