Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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