she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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