I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
