just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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