you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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