Sry I called you an 8
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
