well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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