Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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