Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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