hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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