Can Purell be used as lube?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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