He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
