Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
