I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
