Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
