He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
