oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
My vagina is very pro this idea
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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