I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
