No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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