I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
