I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
