I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize