Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
