This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
So. Much. Porn.
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