Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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