the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
