Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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