How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
