ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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