I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
