did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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