Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
