No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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