Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
