Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
You may now shotgun with the bride
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
