organizing the empties. That sober.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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