I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
