NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Operation Purity has been aborted
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
