community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I need moral support for this bender
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
