i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
