is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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