Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
