And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize