Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
