been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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