the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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