My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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