We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
