The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
